Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Howdy, People

I used to trust people, easily. And they've changed... to a form I've never realized before. It got me twisted though I found it amusing.
Till a heart said,  "They didn't changed. They were only revealing who they truly were."

Irony.

Monday, December 5, 2011

Current Joy

I'm having writer's block. Not because I have nothing to say, I've got plenty to tell. This may be not a piece of good writing with one giant idea in it. But, I'm trying, as hard as I can, to get you understood how much I'm overwhelmed by thankfulness.

It may be good to start from questioning the price of curiosity. As far as I know, it's never been this expensive. I was grown up in a telenovela and sinetron era. I was "forced" to watch telenovela at noon and to witness Paramitha Rusadi crying her heart out in a play at night. Never knew the reason, but I often  acted as if I was the actress, in a unbelievably-funny-yet-insane-way. 

The old insanity seeds curiosity and since my family often mocked me for that, I had always wanted to act in a play. Luckily, I got the chance in my second year on campus. I didn't know how to call this, but for approximately 6 months, I'd never given up on trying the best I could to learn a whole new world, something I'd never completely done before. The worst was I almost sold my soul to desperation. However, when it's time for the curtain to fall, I've never felt, so free...so contented.

I'm not saying that I was doing perfect on my previous 3rd December, I was enjoying myself. Maybe how it's supposed to go with anything in life. We cry as hard as possible and be happy as much as probable. It doesn't matter on the applause, on people's comments, and any other forms of acknowledgement. In the end, we should realize that all hard work and tears are needed only to achieve one thing, to make ourselves complete.

So, if I summed up, it would be like... "I didn't want to miss the chance to reveal the answer of my curiosity, so I signed up and got accepted, and then.... you know how much I sacrificed? So much that I couldn't help but letting my heart beats faster each time I remember that it's all worth it."

Thank you, A Midsummer Night's Dream. :)

Courtesy by Elvia Sumayastra

Monday, November 7, 2011

Coming Back Home

I once lost my belief that doing the best for people I love gives such additional energy to walk my days. Then I got shocked to see that though I finally had what I wanted, it led me nowhere but unthinkable misery.
Now I see that, people are source of such unbelievable amount of positivity. Although some people often throw me into troubles and difficulties, they’re somehow the reason why I’m standing in this very point, the point which I should actually proud of myself for opting life rather than death.
And for the rest, whom I know would stand till the end only to keep me alive, their smiles and happiness mean the world to me.
Good day, people.

Taken from my tumblr page, which apparently is about to end...soon ;) 

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

I'd never been this conscious about this point until what happened last night. How could things be so... perishable? Have you ever wondered why your good friends back then in kindergarten or elementary school or whatever you name it are no longer that close to you? Have you ever asked why does time take away some parts of you? It sometimes doesn't replace them with new ones.


Things do end, some in hard way. For any relationships, remember what The Sims teach you, even lovers may turn into acquaintances.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Grrgh

Dear something-on-my-mind-which-keeps-me-sleeping-early,


I hate you. I hate you for letting myself feel tired and not finishing my tasks.
How to make you go.....? I wanna have sleepless nights like others do.



With hatred and curses,

Someone who-sleeps-more-than-6-hours-a-day.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Details in the Fabric

Calm down
Deep breaths
And get yourself dressed instead
Of running around
And pulling on your threads
And breaking yourself up

If it's a broken part, replace it
If it's a broken arm, then brace it
If it's a broken heart, then face it

And hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way

And everything will be fine

Hang on
Help is on the way
And stay strong
I'm doing everything

Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way

And everything, everything will be fine
Everything

Are the details in the fabric
Are the things that make you panic
Are your thoughts results of static cling?

Are the things that make you blow
Hell, no reason, go on and scream
If you're shocked it's just the fault
Of faulty manufacturing.

Everything will be fine
Everything in no time at all
Everything

Hold your own
And know your name
And go your own way

Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own, know your name)
Are the things that make you panic
Are your thoughts results of static cling? (Go your own way)

Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own, know your name)
Are the things that make you panic (Go your own way)
Is it Mother Nature's sewing machine?

Are the things that make you blow (Hold your own, know your name)
Hell no reason go on and scream
If you're shocked it's just the fault (Go your own way)
Of faulty manufacturing

Everything will be fine
Everything in no time at all
Hearts will hold 

Jason Mraz featuring James Morrison

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Sincerely,

I'm grateful for being who I am, for having the way walked, for the chance to take other steps.
Life is just... so beautiful. Right, people? :)

Friday, June 17, 2011

Pergi

Buat saya, sesungguhnya air mata yang jatuh saat seseorang meninggalkan kefanaan, itu bukan buat yang pergi, melainkan buat saya, yang ditinggal.
Ditinggal itu menyakitkan. Apalagi menuju kekekalan. Dimana katanya tak ada lagi luka hanya suka. 

Tapi, semua di kolong langit ada masanya, bukan? Saat ini giliran yang bernyawa yang menangis. Nanti bila jantung tak berdetak... ya, itu perjanjian waktu dengan Sang Empunya.

Munafik bila saya bilang saya tidak ingin ada yang menangis ketika saya harus angkat kaki.

Lantas apa? Entahlah.

Yang penting, saya hidupi badan dan jiwa ini. Selagi bisa.

Skips Beat

There comes moment when you want to share your joy but you have no idea where and how to start. It's not because you miss some details; otherwise, you're overwhelmed by details.

You know, it goes the same way for you, outer space. All I know is that I am happy..... no err what is the name...(gosh I can't even find better diction in English to describe my weird cheerful gesture, silly smiles, and unexplained sudden red face each time people mention your name or us).

In this point, what else should I ask for?

Oh, dear God, thank You, for being unpredictably wonderful.



Thursday, June 2, 2011

Satu Tahun Ini

Saya tidak pernah menyangka bahwa tempo satu tahun sanggup membawa terlalu banyak kisah dalam milestone hidup saya. Saya juga tidak pernah mengira kalau kenyataan bisa lebih indah dari ekspektasi... hingga berkali-kali lipat. Yang saya tahu, dulu saya cuma bermimpi.

Mimpi saya tidak istimewa. Meski saya banyak mau, saya mulai bisa menyederhanakan inti dari segala cita-cita saya. Dan itu sederhana, mimpi yang sungguh bisa dikonstruksikan oleh otak manusia. Kemudian, langkah-langkah itu mulai nampak jelas, tidak lagi blur. Mimpi besar itu kian mungkin diraih. 

Saya dapatkan mimpi masa kecil saya, Departemen Akuntansi Fakultas Ekonomi Universitas Indonesia. Sepanjang 18 tahun hidup, menjadi bagian dari masyarakat ini adalah pencapaian terbesar saya. Saya bangga, bahagia tentunya. Usaha saya tidak sia-sia. Kebahagiaan holistik adalah ketika menghidupi mimpi, mewujudkannya jadi realita. Secara definisi tadi, saya sudah mencapai itu.

Saya rasa tahun pertama saya di Fakultas Ekonomi Universitas Indonesia sedikit banyak memberikan saya gambaran seperti apa dunia ke depannya. Lucu ya, dulu saya begitu naif. Saya dulu lihat dunia ini seperti kurva dua dimensi. Sempit sekali pandangan saya. Untungnya saya cukup adaptif. Jadi dunia perkuliahan terasa indah buat saya, dinamis dan menantang.

Dibalik keelokannya, hidup sekarang lebih keras. Saya sadari jadi mahasiswa bukan sekadar mendapatkan nilai di atas kertas. Saya sadari bahwa lulus dari sini saya bawa beban berat. Yang jelas, saya mesti berbobot. Itu tidak hanya menuntut saya untuk rela merongrong jadwal tidur. Tapi juga mau hati diobrak-abrik, otak dikontaminasi, dan jiwa dirusak. Saya tidak berlebihan. Sekarang benar kalau nasihat dulu berkata hidup itu harus tangguh.

Kalau saya rangkum, satu tahun ini rasanya hanya satu.... luar biasa. Malu sebenarnya ketika masih sering mengeluh, masih sering tidak bersyukur, masih sering tidak ikhlas mengerjakan tugas atau belajar. Malu sama diri sendiri ketika bilang ini mimpi saya. Saya dapatkan lebih. Saya dapat pengalaman tak terukur oleh materi, teman-teman yang tak terlupakan, dan masa depan yang sekarang rasanya lebih manis.

Meski beberapa saat ini saya agak limbung karena banyak cobaan, saya harus kembali, on track. Sederhananya agar nanti ketika ada yang bertanya kemana saja saya selama ini, saya bisa jawab kalau saya sedang.... menghidupi mimpi.

:)


Monday, May 16, 2011

Saya Takut Nyatanya

Seorang asisten dosen yang cantik, pintar, baik hati, suatu hari pernah berkata bahwa ekspektasi membuat kita berperilaku seperti apa yang kita pikir, hingga akhirnya ekspektasi itu jadi realita. Dia jelaskan dengan kurva, angka, dan fakta. Lucunya, tulisan-tulisan di papan tulis itu, yang kemungkinan keluar di lembar soal UAS, tidak semenarik itu buat saya. Kata-katanya lebih menggelitik, membuat saya sejenak menarik mundur diri untuk berpikir.
Saya tahu kalau mau dihubungkan dengan motivasi,  hubungan kata-kata kakak cantik itu adalah dengan positive thinking, self support, dll. Sejenak berdiam. Saya tahu. Yang menarik justru ketika saya sadar saya kadang tak bisa paksakan ekspektasi, tidak mampu mengukur seberapa pantas saya untuk sebuah ekspektasi atau seberapa jauh sebenarnya saya dapat bertindak agar menjadi pantas untuk sebuah ekspektasi.  Lawak ya. Tapi sungguh nyata buat saya. 
Belakangan hidup saya sangat dekat dengan harapan. Tapi saya tau kadang harapan itu kosong. Atau setidak-tidaknya begitu volatile, hingga menguap sesaat setelah terisi dan saya sedang berusaha raih. Hasilnya? Luka hati.

Ha, tapi tak apalah. Kata orang, inilah hidup.

Jakarta, 16 Mei 2011


Saturday, May 14, 2011

Gotta Know

Sincere greetings spread warmth to stubborn heart. With no hestitation, I said that it's all good on me. Heeh, it went wrong. Wrong. Then thank you, for waking me up from long, ironic dream. For showing me that I am... I am not that well.
Hey, dreaming of tomorrow only brings uncertainty. Though, it's not serendipity either. But I promise thee; this sketched picture of us will be hung on the star-sprayed corner. 
Thank you, for the light bulb.

Tumblr_livhvbzh8e1qhujmoo1_500_large
http://data.whicdn.com/images/8363282/tumblr_livhvbzH8E1qhujmoo1_500_large.jpg?1301507631

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Exception

It's very common to feel some sparks inside when certain songs are played or out of nowhere some pictures slide on your screen.... or maybe when you visit historical places which bring you back to special events.
It's very human when your brain rolls, performs memories and then your heart takes a glimpse of feeling  that used to run inside your vein.
It's indescribable when your brain does so, in contrary, your heart rattles on nothing.
And you start asking this unsynchronized relationship between heart and mind which appears unusual. What is actually happening?
It's weird, weird. Weird.

Hey, A Beautiful Mess, why are you stop beating?

Sunday, April 10, 2011

JOURNALIST DAYS 2011


Jangan sampai ga ikut berpartisipasi. Ini acara cool bgt! <3 <3
Semua bermula dari obrolan ringan lebih dari setengah tahun lalu. Tak ada yang terlalu istimewa kecuali berkenalan dengan beberapa orang baru. Perbincangan kami tak berbobot. Tipikal omongan kosong, basa basi, sekedar usaha mengenal lebih dekat. Dan itu semua berujung, di suatu ide menerima satu tantangan baru. Sore itu berakhir, kami pun sepakat akan suatu hal sederhana. Yang tak pernah aku tahu, itu awal dari sesuatu.
Tantangan itu harus terwujud. Harus itu menuntut usaha. Kami tak segan. Kami berusaha keras.
Tapi, gagal. Langkah kami terhenti.
Menerima kenyataan pahit tidak pernah menjadi suatu perkara sepele, Kawan. Kau pertaruhkan hati dan seluruh harga dirimu saat realita merasuki otakmu untuk mengakui segala hal nyata adanya. Di situlah kau mulai kehilangan kontrol atas dirimu sendiri. Hingga egomu berontak dan menolak. Sungguh sekarang akan kuberitahu. Itu semua sia-sia.
Waktu seakan menjadi perpanjangan tangan Tuhan untuk mengeluarkan manusia keluar dari rangkap kebodohan yang dia ciptakan sendiri. Terkadang itu tidak berarti kau lupa. Itu berarti kau mendapat jawaban atas setiap kekecewaanmu.
Aku pun demikiann. Satu per satu tanyaku usai terjawab. Setiap kejadian bak potongan cerita yang perlahan selesai dirangkai oleh Sang Esa. Hingga kini tak ada kemunafikan bersembunyi di balik tatapan mata. Tak ada lagi kecerian palsu. Usai. Ya, usai sudah.
Lalu aku tergelitik. Terkadang, manusia terlalu dangkal menyelami setiap makna yang tersirat dalam. Sering sekali manusia menjadi terlalu bodoh untuk memahami skenario cerdik. Lucunya, selalu kita lupa bahwa Tuhan itu... Penulis Agung.
 Sekarang kau tanya kabarku? Kuberi tahu, aku bersyukur, luar biasa. 

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Falling Slowly

Will and Way

This happened to me weeks ago. It all started when a friend of mine asked the procedure to do something which I, honestly, couldn't answer. Because it's a sort of important question, I tried to do the best I could to help. My mind began to think and soon after I found a solution, a very good one indeed. I said a very good one because it bridged me to an event I'd been begging for. I was excited to know that my wish was about to be granted. I took the first step then everything went smooth and great. I could say that what happened next really made my day.

Days after, I had second thought about series of events relating to my hope about something. Well, it led me to a conclusion that I should stop. Weird, but it felt so free to let go and then I took a precious lesson that "when there's a will, there's a way" phrase does exist in reality. Sometimes, the way, which eventually reveals the best, doesn't go for a "yes". It often goes for a "no", for my own good. But at least, I won't die wondering what probably would have occurred if I had done this or that. Why? Because I already did it, I have already answered my own question, my own hope by taking a leap of faith and accepting to act.

Yes, now I believe that when someone hopes so badly, sometimes in a series of exceptional events, the way emerges and leaves her/him with a choice, to act or to stay silent. And after choosing, well, the rest is God's business.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Water + Color

http://grahamglass.blogs.com/main/images/2007/10/24/print.jpg


I'm currently in love with watercolor art. It's exquisite and unique.
The picture above is one of Leonid Afremov's paintings.
He has signature style which differentiates him from other artists.


Visit his deviantArt gallery http://leonidafremov.deviantart.com/gallery/

And also Victor Martinez whose web is attractive. http://www.victormartinez.com/

Oh, someone paint me in watercolor pleaseeee

Setiap Ruas

Kalau saya boleh memilih, saya tentu akan lebih suka menjelajah Jakarta dengan mobil pribadi. Alasannya klise : nyaman, sejuk, damai, dan aman. Terlebih suasana dan cuaca Jakarta begitu keras. Tapi setiap perjalanan dengan kendaraan umum selalu membawa cerita berbeda. Selalu ada hal yang baru tiap hari, entah supir baru atau kenek baru, penumpangnya, suasananya. Wajarlah ya, namanya juga fasilitas umum. 

Selama kurang lebih enam tahun, saya berkutat dengan puluhan penumpang lain yang menumpang hidup pada bis yang sama, ratusan orang lain yang berdesakan di kereta yang sama, dan beberapa manusia lain yang duduk menerawang keluar sementara angkot yang kami tumpangi terus melaju menembus hujan.

Semestinya bukan menjadi suatu rekreasi ketika harus berdiri di bis yang penuh sesak atau kereta yang terlalu penuh hingga bernapas saja sulit. Tapi, entahlah, setiap perjalanan selalu memberikan inspirasi di balik cerita dan tingkah laku pemerannya. Tiap orang dengan latar belakang yang berbeda namun menggantung hidup pada satu supir atau masinis yang sama. It inspires me in such weird way. 


Kadang rekreasi itu bertambah ketika pengamen jalanan mulai memetik gitar, membersihkan pita suara dan bernyanyi. Jangan tanya kualitas mereka. Tidak sedikit yang berbakat, bahkan piawai menggesek biola atau meniup harmonika. Ada yang menyanyikan tembang lawas dengan suara dibuat-buat mirip Ebiet G. Ade. Lainnya menyanyikan berbagai genre musik masa kini. Mulai dari brit pop hingga pop melayu. Dari Nidji hingga Kangen Band.

Lucunya, saya tidak bisa semena-mena menyuruh mereka berhenti bersenandung. Saya tidak bisa seenaknya bertindak. Mau tidak mau saya harus mendengar suara fals mereka tidak peduli betapa buruknya suasana hati saya hari itu. Mau tidak mau saya harus menahan kantuk karena takut tersesat. Mau tidak mau saya harus bertoleransi dengan penumpang lain dan kegiatan mereka. Entah ibu-ibu baru pulang dari pasar dan tidur sembarangan atau mbak-mbak ABG yang curhat dengan temannya tentang pacarnya yang selingkuh.

Semua itu hanya segaris cerita tentang jalanan. Buat saya, jalanan seperti miniatur. Miniatur kerasnya hidup di ibukota Jakarta. Saya tidak memungkiri betapa saya ingin berjuang agar tidak selamanya menumpang fasilitas umum. Saya juga tidak menolak kalau orang tua saya meminjamkan kunci mobil untuk saya. Namun, saya tahu bahwa saya akan rindu dan kehilangan sesuatu. Ya, jalanan dan dinamikanya...

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Moby's Porcelain

What comes to your mind when listening to a song without ever recognizing the lyrics before, purely from the sounds and the ambiance it creates? Is it a hard feeling, a good one, or what? This song draws a series of scenes on my mind where I'm the main actress, playing the character of a successful woman living in a big city (why does New York always pop in the first place?), having a great day at work and coming back home to meet the loved one then enjoying the rest of night somewhere beautiful, fun, interesting. 

Hey, Hey, Hey, Woman, it's alright.
Hey, Hey, Hey, Woman, it's alright.

In my dreams I'm dying all the time
When I wake its kaleidoscopic mind
I never meant to hurt you
I never meant to lie
So this is goodbye
This is goodbye

Hey, Hey, Hey, Woman, it's alright.
Hey, Hey, Hey, Woman, it's alright.

Tell the truth you never wanted me

Tell me...

In my dreams I'm jealous all the time
Then I wake I'm going out of my mind
Going out of my mind

Hey, Hey, Hey, Woman, it's alright.(x4)

If you listen carefully, my imagination is different from the lyrics. But it's fine anyway. Try yours :)

Boys and Girls

I was just walking my own blog and found a fun fact, I haven't written things about love and relationship things since err... well it's been a long time. Quite frankly, I really am a single right now and currently not even thinking (and feeling) about changing my relationship status on Facebook to in a relationship or widow, or widowed, or none ya simply because I enjoy being a single. No, no need to worry. I'm not about to write things about my own love story or someone I adore out there (being a single doesn't mean that my cute-handsome-cool-great-boys alert is turned off).
It all started when a good friend of mine re-tweeted a quote of the difference between boys and girls, in a relationship. It seemed like girls become victims in many painful relationships. Besides, weeks ago I chatted with some friends about relationship issue and found that in many ways, girls are hurt because of boys' attitude. 
I'm not writing here as a feminist. After thinking about human relationships, I, somehow, had a conclusion that girls are not always become the victims because actually we should see a relationship, especially romantic one (whether between heterosexuals or homosexuals), as an equal relationship among two parties who  are willing to make things work between them (well you may read this as love).
That's just how about girls and boys react after the crash. Okay, I give you illustrations. This one is played by B and C (ha I know it doesn't distinguish anything haha).
Ogaaabfs7snxci89ap10bi4mua8o2w4s-qepxlpcespmg1d4xax4mkqj5lilpbejkfhifo-tw4pilxsbfdajvc_phb0am1t1uis2slnht1ii1hhss5mvd6uq-cw4_large
http://s3prod.weheartit.netdna-cdn.com/images/5591388/OgAAABFS7SnXCi89ap10Bi4mua8O2W4S-qepXlpCESpmG1d4xax4MkQj5LilPBEJKFhifO-tW4pilXsbfDAjvc_pHb0Am1T1UIs2sLnHt1Ii1HHsS5MvD6uQ-cw4_large.jpg?1292606960

B and C are in a romantic relationship and on a blue night (if you're Indonesian, you read that one as malam biru referring to a song made popular by a talented Indonesian male singer), they had a fight, a very big one. They didn't break up but decided to take a time alone to figure the relationship. On the next night, B went with their buddies, and C did too.
B : Yeah, we had a fight last night and... (started sobbing)..well, I just can't believe that...we just might end the relationship...(and continued blabbering, exaggerated things and stresses were on and B ended up crying).
And this what happened to C.
C : Yeah, we fought last night (started drinking or smoking or playing cards).Well, I love the relationship but....huff... I don't know what to do, it's getting complicated (and continued the story while figuring the solution but ended up drinking or smoking or playing cards, still).

Well, you may think it's most likely that B's a girl and C's a boy.  I'm not trying to make it in general that girls are fragile or such since we know independent, strong girls out there. The point is what most differentiates boys and girls in relationships is the way the communicate, the way they express feelings. It's when troubles come, the victims are both parties (in such a healthy relationship). It's another way to say, stop putting girls as victims or you, girls, stop being one. Girls, boys, both are human, with feelings and thoughts. Similarities and differences between them is what make a life and relationships beautiful.


Well, enough blabbering, I'm signing out.
Tumblr_lcbaq5jke51qd1te6o1_500_large
http://s3prod.weheartit.netdna-cdn.com/images/5293222/tumblr_lcbaq5Jke51qd1te6o1_500_large.jpg?1291409265



PS : That malam biru thing, hm, I was trying to make a joke ha sorry.


Personality Test

I just took these tests earlier and had so much fun on it, really. Some of these results put a big smile because of its righteousness, but some of them made me... well I laughed because they're just yaa wrong haha. You should take one here, it's fun and yeah some might lead you to think deeper about life.

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.
Your views on education
Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.
The right job for you:
You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.
How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.
Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.



Here is the analysis:
  1. You've got great self-confidence and you're full of charm. Most guys who get to know you will be attracted to you. You are far from sweet and proper; your intriguing personality fascinates them. Most guys find it easy to fall for a girl like you.
  2. You really care about other people's feelings and are quite serious about the issues that affect your life. You are sincere, and your concern for the well-being of others makes many people want to be your friend.
  3. You are a bright, cheerful and bubbly person. You are thoughtful and considerate, and like to have fun. Everybody feels comfortable around you because of your pleasant nature. When you walk into a room, people's eyes are likely to be drawn to you because of your charm.
  4. Your peers think of you as a fun person, but sometimes you can be a little irresponsible. You can be somewhat childish, and can try to ignore the fact that you will one day need to really grow up and be a mature adult! Perhaps you could start reading good books; they might help you look at the world in a different light. You do want to be taken seriously, right?
  5. Your boyfriend believes that you are a strong and independent person. Your confidence and cheerfulness make you an attractive person to be around, but sometimes you need to pay more attention to what other people, including your boyfriend, are thinking.
Love and Relationship
You desire a love that will last forever. You are quite serious about finding this type of love, and that's why you think carefully about the men that you meet before deciding whether you could really love them. You don't just develop a crush on someone overnight: you look at a person's personality and other aspects of their life before deciding to form an attachment. If a guy doesn't meet your expectations, you would rather be alone. Your love has to be perfect. Be careful though, you could be missing out on some worthy relationships because your standards are so high.

Bright and Cheerful
You are always cheerful and charming. You never get too serious with people when they're around, but when you are alone, you think carefully about what they have said. That's because you don't want anyone to see you being too somber. Your personality means you have a lot of friends and you are often the center of attention. Many people who fall into this category become artists and movie stars, perhaps fame could be yours in the future as well.

The Artist
You love freedom and want to follow your heart's desires. You might not be at your best when dealing with other people. Once you are given the opportunity to work your chosen way, your gift will shine. A tip for you is not to concentrate too much on your own work, but widen your focus and consider the opinions of other people.