Lidah tercekat. Aku terlalu malu untuk bilang. Rindu.


Ah, hidup di sini terlalu hingar-bingar.
Hingga aku abai mendengar.
Kalau kau bicara nanar.


Tapi akan aku sampaikan salammu pada ambisi.
Biar dimakan habis tak bersisa.
Apa yang seharusnya aku nikmati.


Sudahlah. Yang penting kau tidak lupa.
Pernah berjanji tidak akan berhenti.
Mengetuk nurani.

Salam kasih dari yang terkasih.

Jakarta,  28 Mei 2012

Digitally Old

In the world where information is too easy to obtain, I should have known your siblings, parents, your high school memories, or your daily thoughts by now.

But still, I have no clue at all.

It's just like moving forward on the fast train while everybody, except you, heads toward. Not sure if it's you being ancient or it's your nature to be mysterious.



Whatever.

Be My April

It's only when you want something so badly that you can reach this kind of feeling.

An odd heartbeat that can only be detected when your attempt is either successful or even useless.

But you know that one day when the day has finally come, you'll look behind and smile...for what you've tried, for each failure, for each clarity, for everything.

...And now, let's head toward. 

Run Run Run

And this is me. Amazed to witness how fast time goes by. You know, I'm hoping I'm part of this time machine.

Note to Self

Been overpowered by sidejob things, I let myself drowned in an ambiguos ambition.

Yes, it's a lifetime goal, but how could I sell my heart to mugger for achieving it?

Okay, let's get it clearer. Sometimes, we put so much weigh on our dream that we overprice it and let go things that are more precious.

These are what I learn:

First of all, never put your heart in auction. Why? Simply because by not loving what you do, you might still get your so-called target but never satisfy your soul. So when you know it's not going to be something your heart would be happy for, just stop. And if you know the way to it is no longer true, just get away.

Secondly, though you know you can not stop time, do grab some minutes from working time and contemplate life in a slow motion.

Hopefully work. Fingers crossed.

Journey to The Past

The very main reason of having a blog (though this doesn't seem like a maintained one) is to reread some parts of life that mind can not easily recall if there's no trigger. I just did it. I tried to catch up with what I exactly meant on every word. And it's pretty ruthless because every post speaks figuratively. I was afraid of speaking in denotative sayings. I even deleted some posts which are vivid, in a meaning that you (reader, if there's any, well, I believe there are some) are able to easily make a guess of what was actually happening. Funny, I was the writer who can not apprehend what I actually said by writing this and that.

But I became disappointed of myself to find out that I did delete some personal notes or signs or anything that no one but me can reopen the box only because I was afraid to get hurt once more. Though from the moment I entered delete button I knew that someday I would be in favor to make a visit, it still happened. 

I want them back, I want it restored. 

And yeah, thanks anyone who discovered blog, a storage of memories. As my gratitude, I'll share you how life is going. 

Every Single Day of Holi-day

I should punish myself for this laziness.

The remark stays on my mind and keeps playing on everytime body stays on couch wanting not to go elsewhere. This is holiday. So true. But I've changed into a creature I can't even recognize whose guiltiness haunts while life overwhelms.

It is not fair. I want me back.